In mid-December, I was privileged to be able to fly by myself out to visit my parents in California, along with my sister who was in town for Christmas. I had really been missing everyone there, and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be home again with my sister, since our paths rarely cross on that side of the country. But the driving force behind my visit was that I wanted to see my 92-year-old Gramma. She had recently moved into an apartment my parents constructed adjacent to their home, and ever since the move in September, her health had been slowly failing. She was sleepier, weaker, less stable on her feet, and bloodwork revealed that she was in end-stage kidney failure. She still sounded good when I spoke with her on the phone, as witty and with-it as ever, but I knew she wouldn’t stay that way much longer.
So with the kind help of Jim and his mom to watch the kids here, I jetted out to California for an all-too-quick visit. It was so nice to be with my parents and sister in my childhood home around Christmastime, something I hadn’t experienced in years. But it was really, really good to be able to sit beside my Gramma and hold her hand and tell her one last time that I loved her and that God loved her, and had sent His Son to die for her sins and mine. It was so good to hear her laugh, and to watch her as she watched the birds outside her window. We watched lots of TV together, which reminded me of all the relaxing afternoons I would spend at her house as a child, watching her TV game shows like Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune and The $10,000 Pyramid Game, as well as all the magical after-school specials she would faithfully record on VHS for Angie and me. Going to Gramma’s house was always pure fun, and I got to recapture a little of that as we sat beside her once again.
When I tearfully said goodbye only a few days after I arrived, I knew it was the last time I would see Gramma. I kissed her repeatedly and tried not to show how hard it was to leave her. I don’t know whether she realized it was the last time we would see each other, but I suspect she did. She was a whip-smart lady to the end. And she loved her family so, so much. I always knew she thought the world of Angie and me. It was such a blessing to know she was always there for us, always ready to chat about the weather or TV shows or what we were doing in school. Her intellect was inspiring, as was her crossword puzzle prowess. And she could work her VCR better than anyone half her age! She was a devoted reader of this blog, which was one of the reasons I’ve kept up with it all these years…because it was such a good way to keep Gramma informed about our daily life here. And when I’ve flown out with the kids to visit her, she felt like she knew them well because of all the pictures and stories she had seen. I’m so thankful the kids got to know her, their great-grandmother, their GiGi.
About two weeks ago, my mom told me that Gramma was in more pain when she moved, and as a result, it was getting harder for her to do things in the apartment. Soon, she could no longer get up without assistance, and was in severe pain from the swelling in her extremities as her organs were shutting down. My dear Mom cared for her night and day, putting her life entirely on hold to make sure Gramma had everything she needed. She sat by Gramma’s side hour after hour to keep her company, care for her physical needs, and let her know that she was loved and was not alone. When the pain and distress got too great and the hospice nurses were unable to relief her discomfort through medications, she was transferred to an inpatient hospice facility. By the time she arrived, she was finally calm and sleeping. Later that evening, she passed away.
It is so hard to think that my Gramma is not here anymore. I miss her very much. I miss hearing her voice and her calling me “darlin.” I have so many wonderful memories of her sweet generosity and kindness. I’m so thankful that I had her in my life for so long. And as my mom reminded me, the best thing I can do to honor her memory is to cherish my family as much as she cherished us.
Here are some old pictures from past visits the kids had with their GiGi: Visiting in 2009, 2012, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018
And here are the pictures from my visit this past December. What wonderful memories!
Oh Emily, you once again captured the essence of Gramma in your writing. I can think no greater Eulogy than what you wrote about her ! She adored you granddaughters, and I always was grateful that she lived close enough for you all to have a real relationship and cherished memories to share. Thank you for your gift of writing about your beloved Gramma. 💜