July 16, 2008, at 10:25 pm |
I had a special visit today from my obstetrician, Dr. S! Because he’s my employer in addition to being my OB, I had gotten used to seeing him nearly every weekday I was at the office, so it was a wonderful burst of familiarity to see him here in my hospital room and to chat for a while. He noted something I hadn’t realized before: my official due date, September 4th, follows on the heels of the aptly-named Labor Day. So while the rest of you are all out enjoying your picnics and days off from work, I may actually be laboring! Of course, neither he nor I expect me to still be pregnant by that point, so presumably I’ll get to experience the true meaning of the day: a rest from labor. Dr. S. also brought me a bag of goodies that his wife generously assembled for me, including some delicious snacks. I figure, if a doctor’s wife gives you chocolate, it’s got to be good for you, right?!
His visit made me appreciate, yet again, how blessed I am to have such a good relationship with my doctor. Although the residents and perinatologists at the hospital are surely very well trained, there’s nothing like having a doctor you trust. It often feels like so much of what I hear from medical professionals at the hospital are the textbook answers: technically true statements, but without the context of wisdom. I can always count on Dr. S to not only know the textbook answer, but to filter his responses and explanations through the lens of his extensive practical experience. It also doesn’t hurt that I have had a front-row seat for several years from which to view his skills as a physician! So if you’re reading this blog, Dr. S. – thank you!
July 15, 2008, at 10:00 pm |
During a quick ultrasound this afternoon, a resident asked me what I was most looking forward to doing once I “get outta here,” other than holding my babies. I paused, surprised that an answer didn’t instantly leap into my consciousness. After a moment, I replied that I couldn’t wait to be outside again. Yet while she was busily scanning my belly to check on the girls’ well-being, I thought more about my answer. I’ve never considered myself an “outdoorsy” person. It wasn’t until I met Jim that I even conquered (or at least, repressed) my irrational fear of having my toes amputated by hungry fish in any non-chlorinated body of water. But while I’m chained to this bed during the seemingly endless afternoon hours, what is it that I’m daydreaming about? I’m imagining how good it would feel to have the sun beat down on my shoulders, the breeze tickle my skin, the rain mat down my hair, to simply be exposed to the elements. Maybe I’m an outdoor person after all…or at least, a low-intensity outdoor person. The idea of vigorous hiking feels too ambitious at this point, now that a trek to the bathroom leaves me winded. But soon after I am sprung from this establishment, with my daughters nestled in their double stroller, I plan on taking a long, leisurely walk. The ringing of the call bells will be replaced by the singing of the birds, the buzzing of the monitoring equipment will morph into the chirping of the crickets, the glare of the florescent lights will give way to the shining of the sun…and the stillness of the air will be pierced by the cries of two sets of healthy lungs…sounds like paradise to me!
July 14, 2008, at 10:01 pm |
I made it to Bastille Day! As I remarked in a previous post, my obstetrician noted that today would be a fitting day, symbolically speaking, to be discharged from the hospital (although of course, he’s rooting along with the rest of us for the pregnancy to reach at least 36 weeks). In honor of his observation, I thought I’d do a little informal research and create an imaginary scenario in which I am liberated from UConn Medical Center, as were the captives of the Bastille. In advance, please indulge my outlandish exaggerations and understand that these are the ramblings of a pregnant woman who has been cooped up in bed for a very long time! (Maybe there’s another similarity here between my plight and that of the Bastille prisoners…a kind of incarceration-induced PTSD…). Without further ado, here is an excerpt from a Wikipedia article on the Bastille (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastille_Day), with my tall tale inserted in italics:
"…The people of Paris, fearful that they and their representatives would be attacked by the royal military, and seeking to gain arms for the general populace, stormed the Bastille, a fortress-prison in Paris which had often held people jailed on the basis of ‘lettres de cachet’, arbitrary royal indictments that could not be appealed (Jim, fearful that he would be attacked by rising hospital bills, and seeking to regain his wife/cook/boat driver, stormed the UConn Medical Center, a fortress-prison in Connecticut which had often held people jailed on the basis of pre-term labor, an arbitrary medical diagnosis that could not be appealed).
Besides holding a large cache of arms, the Bastille had been known for holding political prisoners whose writings had displeased the royal government, and was thus a symbol of the absolutism of the monarchy. As it happened, at the time of the siege in July 1789 there were only seven inmates, none of great political significance (Besides holding many millions of dollars worth of medical supplies, the UConn had been known for holding pregnant women whose uterine behavior had displeased the medical establishment, and thus was a symbol of the absolutism of doctors. As it happened, at the time of the siege in July 2008, there were only five antepartum patients, none of great medical complexity).
When the crowd (legend says it was organised by descendants of the Knights Templar)— eventually reinforced by mutinous ‘gardes françaises’— proved a fair match for the fort’s defenders…the commander of the Bastille, capitulated and opened the gates to avoid a mutual massacre. However, possibly because of a misunderstanding, fighting resumed. Ninety-eight attackers and just one defender died in the actual fighting… (When the crowd (legend says it was organized by descendents of the “B Family†clan) – eventually reinforced by mutinous friends and co-workers of the patients – proved a fair match for the fort’s security guards, the medical director of UConn, capitulated and unlocked the doors to Labor & Delivery to avoid a PR scandal. However, possibly because of a misunderstanding, name-calling resumed. Countless “B Family†members and just one resident were slandered in the actual onslaught…).
The storming of the Bastille was more important as a rallying point and symbolic act of rebellion than a practical act of defiance (The storming of the UConn was more important as an expression of frustration of a lonely husband and symbolic act of rebellion against skyrocketing insurance premiums than a practical act of defiance).
Shortly after the storming of the Bastille, on 4 August feudalism was abolished and on 26 August, the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen proclaimed." (Shortly after the storming of the UConn, on September 4th, the pre-term labor diagnosis was abolished and on September 26th, the ‘Declaration of the Rights of Twin Girls and their Proud Parents’ was proclaimed).
And we all live happily ever after (well, at least the “B Family†does…I won’t presume to speak on behalf of the French) – The End!
July 13, 2008, at 10:25 pm |
Today was filled with mixed emotions. Jim’s maternal grandfather, “Pap,” went home to be with the Lord early this morning (many of you may remember him; he officiated at our wedding). We are so thankful that, because he was saved, we are confident that he is now in the presence of our Heavenly Father. He is no longer bound by earthly sickness and sorrows. However, we grieve the loss of such a wonderful figure in our lives. We ‘ll miss his funny rhyming messages on our answering machine, like the classic, “It’s Father Clark, calling after dark!” We’ll miss his generous hospitality – we couldn’t escape a visit to his house without hearty snacks or meals, including his signature Kielbasa dish. We’ll miss his common sense advice, such as his trick for enduring physical pain: “It’s just mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it don’t matter!” We’ll miss his tendency to doze during family gatherings, his penchant for sweater vests, his hearty laugh at everyone’s jokes, his strong singing voice on Sunday mornings, but most of all, his deep and abiding love of God. We will miss you, Pap.
Jim will be traveling out of state to be with his family and attend the funeral. Please pray that the girls don’t make a surprise appearance while he is away. The last thing I need to worry about is Jim careening down the Pennsylvania turnpike at breakneck speed in an attempt to outrun my labor pains! I can just imagine Jim arguing with a state trooper who has pulled him over for speeding…but with Jim’s power of persuasion, who knows? Maybe he’d end up with a police escort all the way to the hospital!
July 12, 2008, at 9:51 pm |
All is well. I’ve been rather tuckered out today, so this post will be short and sweet. Our niece Allison spent the night here last night and we had a wonderful little slumber party. We watched a good movie, ate great snacks, chatted and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It was a great change of pace!
July 11, 2008, at 7:49 pm |
I have now officially been in the hospital for two months. It seems like so much has changed in that time frame! We now have the beginnings of a nursery, thanks to my family’s diligent efforts at organizing, painting, shopping and assembling. Our cat, Tommy, has gone through the five stages of grief over my sudden departure from the home. He denied my disappearance and functioned normally at first, then moved to anger and took a few mean-spirited swipes at Jim, then bargained for my return by catching many more woodland creatures than normal in the hopes I would be so pleased that I would come home, then descended into a feline depression complete with lethargy and loss of appetite, and now has finally moved to acceptance of my absence and behaves as if he never knew I existed. I am thankful that Tommy seems to have finally adjusted to the situation, but I’m now a bit sad that he seems to have forgotten all about me!
What else has changed…Jim has stepped up to the plate and reassumed the driver’s seat in our boat (which is just as well, given that I doubt I will be doing much piloting when I have two babies in tow!). He has also proven to be an excellent interior decorator, as he diligently embellishes the formerly bare spaces of my hospital room with cards, toys and baby clothes. In fact, my hospitalization has probably demanded far more flexibility and adjustment from Jim than it has from me. He hasn’t been given the luxury of laying in bed, reading all day. He’s had to juggle work, home and hospital life, and constantly field phone calls from a wife who would be quite content to chat on the phone with him all day. So three cheers for Jim, my wonderful husband and an incredible father-to-be!
July 10, 2008, at 10:05 pm |
We made it to 32 weeks! Every day that passes, I tell myself that I will be satisfied with the duration of the pregnancy and thankful to have made it this far. And I am thankful that the Lord has blessed us so richly…but I’m not sure I could label myself as satisfied, because I am still holding out hope for a few more weeks. I feel greedy, as if I’m asking for the moon when I’ve already been given every star in the sky. As the nurses have told me, every day I’m still pregnant after reaching 32 weeks is simply “icing on the cake.” Well, I guess my sweet tooth has struck again, because even though I am overjoyed at having a well-baked cake, I’m praying for lots of icing!
July 9, 2008, at 9:18 pm |
I don’t have anything to report today, so I wanted to take the opportunity to express my gratitude to any of you readers who are nurses. You are an amazing bunch! I have been so impressed by the nursing care I have received here at the hospital. Every single nurse has treated me with respect, and most all of them have gone to considerable lengths to ensure my comfort, both physically and emotionally. They’re the people I see the most throughout the day, and I am so thankful that it’s always a pleasure, not an annoyance, to see them. They enter my room with joyful smiles, gentle touches, and sincere inquiries about my family. Their attitudes lift my attitude. It would be much easier to become bored and frustrated if the nurses were poor companions. But as it is, I wish I could take them home with me! Or at least, meet them for coffee! They give me book and movie recommendations, keep me updated on the weather, share their parenting stories, and simply keep me feeling engaged with the outside world. These nurses do far more than their jobs require of them, and I wish I could somehow return the favor. So please, go hug a nurse and tell her or him thank you for me!
July 8, 2008, at 8:45 pm |
Several people have wisely chided me that I might as well appreciate the relative peace and quiet I experience here in the hospital, since it will be a thing of the past once our girls are home. That train of thought led me to contemplate other aspects of hospital life that I ought to enjoy while I can:
A turned-down bed with clean sheets every day when I emerge from the shower
Fully prepared, moderately healthy and moderately tasty food
A call button to press anytime something is out of my reach
My mother-in-law kindly doing my laundry
People urging me to eat
An excuse to wear comfy clothing all day long
An automated bed that lifts up my head and torso at the touch of a button
Freshly mopped floors on a daily basis
An endless supply of novels and magazines that I can peruse at my leisure
A round of applause when the scale inches upwards
I want to say, “I can get used to this!” But of course, I am getting used to it, and still crave the good ol’ life back home. I long to cook for Jim and myself, sleep beside him in our plain, non-automated bed, be able to run out to the store when I need something, have a reason to look presentable in the morning, even to do chores around our house. I look forward to feeling like I can take care of myself, and others, and not have to depend on everyone else all the time. So even though the transition to sleepless nights and double the laundry load may be rough at first, I know that the Lord, who has given me more patience with these circumstances than I thought possible, will be faithful to see me through the next set of circumstances….Now if only He saw fit to continue the tradition of people applauding when I gain weight! 🙂
July 7, 2008, at 6:42 pm |
I think I’m beginning to bore my doctors. They into my room every day during their rounds, one to three residents followed by an attending perinatologist. One of the residents invariably asks me the “Big 3” questions: Any leaking? Bleeding? Contractions? To which I yawn and say nope, nope, and same as always. Then sometimes one of them will comment on the room décor (depending on whether Jim has hung a new bit of decoration on the wall, or if I have a different stack of books parked nearby), and then they’ll smile, pat my leg encouragingly, and file back out of the room.
Don’t misunderstand me – I don’t expect them to do anything else. I’m not giving them much to work with, after all! They are all exceedingly kind, caring professionals. I look forward to their visits, as I feel like I’ve gotten to know many of them rather well during my stay here. I guess it’s because I am so fond of them that I feel a teensy-weensy bit sad that I’m not more interesting – for their sakes!
Perhaps I’m imagining the glassy look I detect in their eyes when they enter the room. Maybe they’re thrilled that they can count on at least one uncomplicated case every day. Yet my guess is that they secretly yearn for me to do something unpredictable, something they can cut their medical teeth on…this is a teaching hospital, after all. They want to learn how to manage the unmanageable, diagnose the undiagnosable, treat the untreatable! Oh well…I think I gave them enough of an object lesson by going into pre-term labor in the first place. They’ll have plenty of occasions in their future practices where they can play medical detective. I’m happy to be an open-and-shut case. Let’s just pray I can stay “shut” for another month or so…!
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ABOUT US I'm blessed to be saved by the grace of God, loved by my wonderful husband Jim, and embraced by my twin girls, Rebecca Faith and Susanna Joy and my sons Jimmy and Danny. I started this blog in May 2008 when I was hospitalized for pre-term labor at 24 weeks gestation. The Lord allowed me to keep the girls inside until they were 34 weeks along, and on July 27th, Rebecca made her debut, followed by Susanna, five minutes later, on July 28th. We ecstatically welcomed Jimmy into our lives on April 25th, 2011, and Danny on August 31, 2012. This blog has been a personal journal of faith and motherhood and the only way I can remember which child did what and when. Thanks for stopping by to share in my Faith and Joy! Feel free to e-mail me at: [email protected]. |
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