July 10, 2008, at 10:05 pm |
We made it to 32 weeks! Every day that passes, I tell myself that I will be satisfied with the duration of the pregnancy and thankful to have made it this far. And I am thankful that the Lord has blessed us so richly…but I’m not sure I could label myself as satisfied, because I am still holding out hope for a few more weeks. I feel greedy, as if I’m asking for the moon when I’ve already been given every star in the sky. As the nurses have told me, every day I’m still pregnant after reaching 32 weeks is simply “icing on the cake.” Well, I guess my sweet tooth has struck again, because even though I am overjoyed at having a well-baked cake, I’m praying for lots of icing!
July 9, 2008, at 9:18 pm |
I don’t have anything to report today, so I wanted to take the opportunity to express my gratitude to any of you readers who are nurses. You are an amazing bunch! I have been so impressed by the nursing care I have received here at the hospital. Every single nurse has treated me with respect, and most all of them have gone to considerable lengths to ensure my comfort, both physically and emotionally. They’re the people I see the most throughout the day, and I am so thankful that it’s always a pleasure, not an annoyance, to see them. They enter my room with joyful smiles, gentle touches, and sincere inquiries about my family. Their attitudes lift my attitude. It would be much easier to become bored and frustrated if the nurses were poor companions. But as it is, I wish I could take them home with me! Or at least, meet them for coffee! They give me book and movie recommendations, keep me updated on the weather, share their parenting stories, and simply keep me feeling engaged with the outside world. These nurses do far more than their jobs require of them, and I wish I could somehow return the favor. So please, go hug a nurse and tell her or him thank you for me!
July 8, 2008, at 8:45 pm |
Several people have wisely chided me that I might as well appreciate the relative peace and quiet I experience here in the hospital, since it will be a thing of the past once our girls are home. That train of thought led me to contemplate other aspects of hospital life that I ought to enjoy while I can:
A turned-down bed with clean sheets every day when I emerge from the shower
Fully prepared, moderately healthy and moderately tasty food
A call button to press anytime something is out of my reach
My mother-in-law kindly doing my laundry
People urging me to eat
An excuse to wear comfy clothing all day long
An automated bed that lifts up my head and torso at the touch of a button
Freshly mopped floors on a daily basis
An endless supply of novels and magazines that I can peruse at my leisure
A round of applause when the scale inches upwards
I want to say, “I can get used to this!” But of course, I am getting used to it, and still crave the good ol’ life back home. I long to cook for Jim and myself, sleep beside him in our plain, non-automated bed, be able to run out to the store when I need something, have a reason to look presentable in the morning, even to do chores around our house. I look forward to feeling like I can take care of myself, and others, and not have to depend on everyone else all the time. So even though the transition to sleepless nights and double the laundry load may be rough at first, I know that the Lord, who has given me more patience with these circumstances than I thought possible, will be faithful to see me through the next set of circumstances….Now if only He saw fit to continue the tradition of people applauding when I gain weight! 🙂
July 7, 2008, at 6:42 pm |
I think I’m beginning to bore my doctors. They into my room every day during their rounds, one to three residents followed by an attending perinatologist. One of the residents invariably asks me the “Big 3” questions: Any leaking? Bleeding? Contractions? To which I yawn and say nope, nope, and same as always. Then sometimes one of them will comment on the room décor (depending on whether Jim has hung a new bit of decoration on the wall, or if I have a different stack of books parked nearby), and then they’ll smile, pat my leg encouragingly, and file back out of the room.
Don’t misunderstand me – I don’t expect them to do anything else. I’m not giving them much to work with, after all! They are all exceedingly kind, caring professionals. I look forward to their visits, as I feel like I’ve gotten to know many of them rather well during my stay here. I guess it’s because I am so fond of them that I feel a teensy-weensy bit sad that I’m not more interesting – for their sakes!
Perhaps I’m imagining the glassy look I detect in their eyes when they enter the room. Maybe they’re thrilled that they can count on at least one uncomplicated case every day. Yet my guess is that they secretly yearn for me to do something unpredictable, something they can cut their medical teeth on…this is a teaching hospital, after all. They want to learn how to manage the unmanageable, diagnose the undiagnosable, treat the untreatable! Oh well…I think I gave them enough of an object lesson by going into pre-term labor in the first place. They’ll have plenty of occasions in their future practices where they can play medical detective. I’m happy to be an open-and-shut case. Let’s just pray I can stay “shut” for another month or so…!
July 6, 2008, at 7:09 pm |
Last night, I had my first taste of fresh air in over seven weeks! It was glorious! With the doctor’s permission, Jim wheeled me outside in a wheelchair. I was as giddy as a kid on Christmas Eve! The hospital is high on a hill, so we were hoping that we could watch the fireworks over the Hartford skyline. Unfortunately, it was too cloudy to see anything beyond the hospital parking lot, but my-oh-my did I enjoy being outside! It was warm and just slightly humid, and the air smelled clean and moist, as it had rained earlier that evening. It was a perfect evening, being outside with Jim and our girls (even though they can’t appreciate fresh air quite yet!). We were one big happy family. Oh – and the next time anybody hears me complain about the Connecticut humidity, or what the humidity does to my hair – you have my permission to kick me!
July 5, 2008, at 8:44 pm |
I was talking to a dear friend tonight and remarked, “Every day I’m still pregnant is a good day.” I’m sure I’ve said the same thing to many of you, in e-mails and phone calls. I stopped to think about the statement, and I was struck by the fact that it’s a shame it’s taken a life-altering event, pre-term labor, to bring me to this realization. I wish I could have clung to the truth of the statement during the entire pregnancy; such an outlook would have enabled me to be less consumed by anxiety and more open to joy during my first and second trimester. It’s not that I was overly pessimistic during those months – it’s just that I was always worried about something, and I often failed to give God the glory He was due for simply allowing me to carry these two precious lives in the first place.
I pray that the Lord will enable me to carry this feeling of contentment into the coming months and years. I will soon transition, Lord willing, into stating that “Every day I’m a mother is a good day.” Yet…I need to adopt an even more expansive version of this truth. Earthly roles, that of a wife or a mother, or a friend or a daughter, can all cease, and if they do, that does not mean that life ceases from being good – or more importantly, that God ceases from being Good. Truly, every day that He gives us life is a good day. For those individuals who are saved, it is one day closer to being with our Heavenly Father, and one additional day than we can bring Glory to Him. For those who are not saved, it is one more day with the opportunity of accepting Him as their Savior, since there is no guarantee of a future opportunity (James 4:14). I am not being naïve and suggesting that we are to feel happy-go-lucky every day, throwing caution to the wind and kicking up our heels in collective merriment. But I am being convicted that I need to remember that earthly troubles, as well as earthly triumphs, pale in comparison to the reason that we are here in the first place: to bring glory and honor to God. With His help, I pray that I can say – and believe, and manifest in my daily life – that every day is a good day.
July 4, 2008, at 8:25 pm |
Happy Fourth of July! Although as my obstetrician joked this morning, it’s a bit hard to celebrate independence day when I’m the prisoner of a hospital! He encouraged me to hang on at least until Bastille Day, July 14, the holiday to celebrate the release of captives. 🙂
Today marks another milestone for our girls – they are officially better at listening to their mother than I was at their age (Sorry, Mom)! I was born at 31 weeks after my mom’s water broke about a week prior. She had pleaded with me to stay put, but I stubbornly insisted on making my premature debut, weighing in at a measly 2 lbs. 8oz. So not only are my girls chunkier than me, they’re more obedient – they’ve passed the 31 week, 0 days, mark and seem quite content to stay put for a while longer. I pray that this early display of compliance is long-lived!
Both girls passed their NST today, even though it took one of them two monitoring attempts to complete the required cardiac accelerations. A few minutes after the nurse strapped on the monitors to give her a second chance, I had given up and assumed we would need to resort to the biophysical profile (a quick ultrasound) to verify that all was well. But then, our knight in shining armor came to the rescue! Jim called to say hi, and as soon as he and I started chatting, our baby girl’s heart rate performed the equivalent of jumping jacks! Her “upbeat” reaction to my happiness at talking to Jim reminded me of a monitoring session we had at the beginning of our hospital stay. The nurse was trying vigorously to track the heart rates of then-tiny babies, who had too much room to maneuver to be bothered to stay still for monitoring. It wasn’t until my obstetrician called from the office to see how I was feeling that the girls suddenly quieted down and behaved themselves! They must have sensed that I was calmed and reassured by his voice, and followed suit by calming themselves down. We have very intuitive youngsters!
July 3, 2008, at 8:02 pm |
We have growing babies! An ultrasound this morning weighed in one baby at 3 lbs.3 oz. and the other at 3 lbs. 6 oz. That’s an average weight gain of 6 oz. per week since the last ultrasound. The doctor was so pleased with their growth that she decided to lengthen our leash: our next ultrasound is scheduled for four weeks from now. Four weeks – the girls would be nearly full-term (for twins) by then!
Jim and I received a round of applause from a line of nurses when we made our triumphant entry back to the antepartum unit, proudly proclaiming our official weight status. Any bystanders would have thought we were trying to groom our children to be sumo wrestlers, given our pride in their poundage!
The sonographer also said that the ultrasound showed one of the girls may already have a little hair on her head. She pointed at the screen and said she saw little hairy “spikes” on top of her head – we had to take her word for it. I squinted and tried to envision the beginnings of peach fuzz, but to no avail. Both babies are still head-down, with their noggins nearly touching. I wonder if they see eye-to-eye? With the tumult of activity that I feel in my belly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re already butting heads!
July 2, 2008, at 10:01 pm |
Today was nice and quiet. I was excited to talk today with a lady who gave birth to twin girls here several weeks ago. While she was here on bedrest, the nurses had wheeled her into my room one afternoon so we could chat. She ended up delivering at 32 weeks and her girls are doing very well in the NICU. They’re actually planning to take them home in a few days. It was very encouraging to hear her success story. I can’t wait until I can share one of my own! Although of course, I feel like we have quite the success story already, praise God! 🙂
July 1, 2008, at 4:44 pm |
We made it to July! Not that I have anything against May or June birthdays, but I’m very happy that the girls are getting further into summer. And to think that, earlier in the year, I dreaded being hugely pregnant in the hot sticky summer months…now I’m longing for it! (Although of course, I have the benefit of the round-the-clock air conditioning paid for by my insurance company…)
I had a wonderful visit from my sister-in-law Julie today. Her mom watched the kids to give her some free time this afternoon. This will most likely be our last child-free time together for quite a while…at least until we can convince our respective mothers to do some tandem baby-sitting. It would be quite a job for one grandma to watch two sets of twins at once. Family get-togethers are never going to be the same! 🙂
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ABOUT US I'm blessed to be saved by the grace of God, loved by my wonderful husband Jim, and embraced by my twin girls, Rebecca Faith and Susanna Joy and my sons Jimmy and Danny. I started this blog in May 2008 when I was hospitalized for pre-term labor at 24 weeks gestation. The Lord allowed me to keep the girls inside until they were 34 weeks along, and on July 27th, Rebecca made her debut, followed by Susanna, five minutes later, on July 28th. We ecstatically welcomed Jimmy into our lives on April 25th, 2011, and Danny on August 31, 2012. This blog has been a personal journal of faith and motherhood and the only way I can remember which child did what and when. Thanks for stopping by to share in my Faith and Joy! Feel free to e-mail me at: [email protected]. |
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