My Faith and Joy… and Boys!

You know you have a toddler in the house…when you find yourself cleaning peanut butter off the kitchen ceiling lights.   

Tonight, Becky turned to me with a big smile and announced, “Mama, I think we’ll never grow up!”  It was all I could do to blink back the tears and return her smile, as I thought of all the precious kids in Newtown who will never have the chance to grow up.  Oblivious to my inner turmoil, she bounced away and happily tackled her brother and sister and the three children tumbled to the ground in a pile of giggling arms and legs.  There was so much joy in those little bodies.  When the girls saw me crying after I learned on Friday the extent of the tragedy, they asked me what was wrong.  I didn’t know what to tell them, so I simply said, “A bad man hurt some kids in a school.”  They looked somber for a moment, and we prayed together for the hearts of the families, then they returned to their coloring.  In the days since, they’ve briefly brought up the subject when they overhear adults talking in hushed tones, but they never exhibit much sadness – only curiosity.  Their naïve minds cannot, thankfully, fathom the despair that has descended upon the community. 

In the past few days, while so many are crying, Danny has learned to laugh.  He’s only done it a couple times, but each time, his face lights up and his apple cheeks rise and his eyes shimmer with joy.  When he laughs, it feels like all is right with my world, like nothing could ever darken the radiance that he exudes.  But I know that I cannot keep the world at bay and forever protect the sunshine in my house. I know that 26 families have been suddenly deprived of the glow of a loved ones’ laughter.  And I know that the four little lights that have been entrusted to my care could be taken home at any moment.  So right now, in the midst of the gathering darkness, I must focus on those lights.  And most importantly, I must focus on sharing the Light of the World with my children, so that, Lord willing, whenever their time on earth is done, they may rest in the arms of their Heavenly Father.

“…You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). 

“…Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12).   

Some tragedies hit too close to home. 

Tonight, as I was tucking my children into their beds, I couldn’t help but think of the families near us who are now faced with empty beds, empty arms.  Ever since I heard about the Newtown school shooting this morning, I have been thinking about how broken this world is.  How sin has broken the human soul.  How there can be no earthly healing for suffering like this.  How there can be no escape here from the dangers that sin wreaks in random and irrevocable ways.  Living in a bucolic, quiet neighborhood and sending your kids to good, safe schools does not protect them from violence.  Living a good, safe life does not protect us from the wages of our sins.  We are helpless to save ourselves from eternal suffering, just as we are helpless against a crazed gunman.  We need a Savior, one who bore the punishment for our sins and has redeemed us by His blood.  On this day of senseless, purposeless earthly bloodshed, I think of the One who shed his blood for the most amazing purpose of all: He died so that we may have eternal life with Him.  For “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:13,14).  He knows the suffering that we are faced with on this earth, and He longs to bring us Home where there will be no more grieving.  “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).  Come quickly, Lord Jesus.   

Jimmy finds it amusing to crawl into his brother’s bouncy seat and swing.  Those baby items are well-built to withstand his toddler heft!