Light

Tonight, Becky turned to me with a big smile and announced, “Mama, I think we’ll never grow up!”  It was all I could do to blink back the tears and return her smile, as I thought of all the precious kids in Newtown who will never have the chance to grow up.  Oblivious to my inner turmoil, she bounced away and happily tackled her brother and sister and the three children tumbled to the ground in a pile of giggling arms and legs.  There was so much joy in those little bodies.  When the girls saw me crying after I learned on Friday the extent of the tragedy, they asked me what was wrong.  I didn’t know what to tell them, so I simply said, “A bad man hurt some kids in a school.”  They looked somber for a moment, and we prayed together for the hearts of the families, then they returned to their coloring.  In the days since, they’ve briefly brought up the subject when they overhear adults talking in hushed tones, but they never exhibit much sadness – only curiosity.  Their naïve minds cannot, thankfully, fathom the despair that has descended upon the community. 

In the past few days, while so many are crying, Danny has learned to laugh.  He’s only done it a couple times, but each time, his face lights up and his apple cheeks rise and his eyes shimmer with joy.  When he laughs, it feels like all is right with my world, like nothing could ever darken the radiance that he exudes.  But I know that I cannot keep the world at bay and forever protect the sunshine in my house. I know that 26 families have been suddenly deprived of the glow of a loved ones’ laughter.  And I know that the four little lights that have been entrusted to my care could be taken home at any moment.  So right now, in the midst of the gathering darkness, I must focus on those lights.  And most importantly, I must focus on sharing the Light of the World with my children, so that, Lord willing, whenever their time on earth is done, they may rest in the arms of their Heavenly Father.

“…You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). 

“…Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" (John 8:12).