Outside Adventures

Has anybody seen where our pool went?

I’m starting to think I’m never going to find my yard again.  It’s somewhere out there, I think…but I’m going on faith at this point, because a snowstorm last night deposited almost another foot of snow around here and brought the depth to probably four feet.  Poor Jim is struggling to keep our driveway clear, but we’re rapidly running out of space to put the snow.  Jim kept telling me that I need to get the girls outside so they can experience this record-breaking winter wonderland, and I kept telling him that I like to feel my toes, thank you very much. 

But tonight, he wore me down.  Or rather, I decided that anything – even the risk of losing the feeling in my toes – was worth getting out of this house.  So when he went outside to plow, I stuffed the girls and myself into our snowsuits and headed outside (“stuffed” being a very literal term, as Susie and Becky’s snow clothes are size 12 and 18 months respectively, and my jumpsuit is definitely not a maternity cut).

You can see that Becky (on the left) was about as excited as I was about our impending adventure.        

I tried to capture the elusive self-portrait-plus-two shot so I could document that I really, truly was going to trudge out into the cold.  I tried to put on my best game face, but I think my grin looks a little panicked, don’t you?

As soon we exited the garage, Susie started walking and didn’t stop.  Her little legs chugged her down the plowed driveway into the darkness and it was all I could do to keep up with her while simultaneously dragging a whimpering Becky behind me and reassuring her that this was indeed, fun.  I felt like quite the hypocrite telling her to get over her fears and just put one foot in front of the other.  At one point, she looked up at me with a look of sheer desperation and near-terror, crying for me to carry her instead of making her walk.  My heart just melted for the poor child (I knew just how she felt), but I also knew she was thoroughly capable of making her way along the driveway.  Carrying her was only going to reinforce her fears.

So I smiled even wider, danced around in my clunky boots and laughingly tried to show her how much fun we were all having, and how great it was to be like Daddy out in the snow.  She tentatively started walking again, still clinging to my hand, and soon we were all trucking along without a problem.  Jim then drove over in the Ranger, picked us all up and took us for a spin, which the girls adored.  Every time he slammed into a snowbank with his plow, the girls squealed with delight.  Becky even turned to me and announced, “This is SO! MUCH! FUN!”

When the girls and I called it quits soon afterward and I was busy peeling cold, wet clothing off of us all, I couldn’t help but be struck by the larger implications of our snowy evening outing.  So often, especially during this time of year, I feel stuck.  I feel like there’s no end in sight to winter, and I’m too much of a wimp to enjoy the season while it’s here.  The nights are long, the days are cold, and I just want someone to carry me through so I don’t have to get my feet wet.  If I just stay inside and pout, yes, spring will come eventually.  But what will I have missed while I’m waiting?

I know I’ve mentioned before that I had high hopes that the girls could turn me into a winter outdoor person, hopes that haven’t yet come to fruition.  So I don’t harbor any delusions that my flash of insight tonight will have me frolicking outside on a daily basis.  Or even a weekly one.  But I hope that slowly, I will learn to be less scared of the uncomfortable, less hesitant about venturing into the unknown.  I pray that the Lord will give me the strength to trust Him to sustain me, no matter the turbulent water or snowy path, when He says “Come” (Matthew 14:29).